Why Did You Kill Us?
By Domenico Mondrone
THE IMMACULATE HEART OF MARY
May she, who once fled from Palestine to save the Infant Jesus from the swords
of Herods henchmen, preserve her dear daughterswho today, together
with the entire human race, have been formally consecrated to her Immaculate Heartfrom
having their own offspring slain through abortion by the unconscious emissaries
of Satanthe Archmurderer and Father of Lies. (Cf. John 8:44)
Truth? Telepathy? Hallucination? Psychic reaction from remorse? One of the
many avenues of Divine Grace? Perhaps a little of each. At all events, what
we are about to narrate touches on a present and agonizing problem. D. M.
Exactly ten years later, the time set by the person who entrusted me with her
last will, I undertake to fulfill an obligation with the same trepidation with
which I accepted it one icy evening in December, 1945. For obvious reasons,
due to the delicacy of the matter, I am forced to withhold the exact location
and any hint that might identify the people involved in the events narrated.
D. M. Rome, 1955
Returning earlier than usual from a short walk, I received a phone call from
someone who would not give his name. To identify himself, the caller
mentioned meeting me some years before. Mother is critically ill,
he said. Someone spoke to her about you. She says she would appreciate
it very much if you could come to see her.
I couldnt figure out the reason for the caution and secrecy, but twenty
minutes later I was at the bedside of the sick woman. She made a dreadful impression
on me. She was very pale and worn. Her eyes were large, still charming but heavy
with suffering. She wore a white woolen cap on her head. Her movements were
slow and tired. She greeted me in a low but grateful voice. Then the family
withdrew and I was left alone with her. Father, do you recognize me?
Of course. Why do you ask?
I think I have changed a great deal.
Not as much as you think, so as to be unrecognizable. Now tell me, whats
on your mind? I am here to help you.
Can you give me all the time I need?
My one wish is to help you in any way I can.
I know, but you are a priest and have a schedule.
My schedule is the least of my worries.
Thank you, Father. As you see, I am approaching the end. I would like
to go to Confession.
I shall be glad to hear you. Dont tire yourself, however. Ill
do my best to help you.
I drew closer, murmured a brief prayer from the Ritual, made the Sign of the
Cross over her and listened attentively. Her mind was perfectly clear and orderly
. . .
After a short time she paused. Father, may I interrupt for a moment?
Surely. Do you need something?
She nodded and touched a small pear-shaped electric bell close to her hand.
A nun who was a nurse came immediately with a hypodermic needle prepared for
a necessary injection.
I waited for a few minutes in an adjoining sitting room and then returned. My
task would soon be completed. After the Confession the patient asked: And
now, what else should be done?
I am glad you ask. I would suggest that you be anointed and receive Holy
Viaticum tomorrow. If you prefer your Pastor for this, I can stop and see him
on my way home.
No, I would rather have you. But why should we wait until tomorrow morning?
Couldnt it be done this evening?
Again she touched the bell, and this time, with the Sister came a young woman
carrying a baby girl. Then her husband and a boy of five or six entered the
Sister, I have told Father to do everything this evening. What do you
say; and what do you all say?
The daughter and her husband looked at each other. Their eyes filled with tears
and they could not speak. But the Sister spoke up: I think this is Gods
inspiration. Do so by all means. Besides, it will help you to have a quiet night.
So, Father, I am in your hands.
I went to the nearby church which the pastor was preparing to close for the
night. There I procured a surplice, a two-sided stole, the holy oils, holy water,
a Ritual and a burse with the Blessed Sacrament. Again I put on my overcoat
and in a few minutes I was back at the bedside. Meanwhile the Sister had converted
the chest near the bed into a little altar, neat and devotional, and even with
flowers, which looked to me like a miracle of beauty. Before receiving the Last
Sacraments, the sick woman expressed a desire to speak to me again in private.
When all had withdrawn, from a small plastic bag she drew a stiff, bulky envelope,
handed it to me and said:
This is the last favor I am asking of you. Will you promise me to do what
I am going to ask you?
What is it?
My last wishes are here.
But we are not supposed to be executors of wills.
It is not that, she assured me with a slight smile. It is
the story of my wretched life, from the time I was a bride up to the present.
I want you to publish it ten years from now. Only be as careful as possible
that no one may recognize the people mentioned in it.
Did you write it?
Someone may recognize your style.
Then make it unrecognizable.
Re-write it yourself. Perhaps I am asking too much; but it will be a work
of charity. Will you promise me? I have great confidence in you.
She could see the strange hesitation on my face.
I assure you, she continued, there is nothing compromising.
I have been thinking of doing this for years; and the more I thought of it,
the more peaceful I felt. Please dont say no. You may read it tonight
if you wish. And let me repeat: there is nothing compromising in it for anyone.
something seen in the light of God, after passing through experiences and expiations
which I wouldnt wish on any mother. It is something that has shortened
my life. I wouldnt want the like to befall any other mother.
Well, Ill do my best.
A slight touch of the bell brought everyone back except the two children, who
had meanwhile been put to bed by their mother. The Last Rites were administered
in an atmosphere of perfect peace and serenity. It was nearly eight oclock.
A furtive glance at my watch made the sick woman realize that I
wished to leave.
You may go, Father. I have no words sufficient to thank you. I wont
keep you any longer; I feel that I am at peace with God.
You may be sure of that, I said as I arose.
Now Ill give you my blessing and wish you good night. Should you
need me tomorrow morning, dont hesitate to have me called.
Tomorrow morning? Shall I be able to see you . . .? She took my
hands, held them for a moment in her fevered grasp with her eyes fixed on me
in wordless gratitude, kissed them and let them go with an expressive nod of
good-bye. Down in the street, I stood at the car-stop waiting for the streetcar
and thanking God for having made me a priest, a link between Him and souls.
The streetcar was already coming when the janitress rushed out to me. Father,
the people upstairs want you in a hurry; they beg you to come back.
As soon as I arrived in the hall of the apartment, I saw that everything had
changed. The sick woman was screaming like a maniac. The children in the next
room had been awakened and were crying with terror. Their mother was trying
to quiet them, but she herself was weeping and seemed inconsolable. The Sister
and the sick womans son-in-law were doing their best to hold her in bed.
She was struggling and crying to get up, for she was burning in a dreadful way.
My appearance did not calm her; on the contrary, it made her more furious. Those
eyes which shortly before had been so kind and peaceful were now fixed on me
with some kind of inexplicable hate.
There he is. He has been talking to me about mercy. What a liar! He told
me not to think of my past; and now he does not see that my past is coming to
meet me. They are there; they look at me one by one. They look at me with hatred.
Nobody sees them; but I do. I do see those faces, those eyes, those looks as
cold and hard as always. On a night as dark as Hell they knocked at the door
of my house. I rushed to open it, but as soon as I saw them I shut the door
and wouldnt let them in. I know the way they were looking at me . . .
Calm yourself, Madam. You have done everything to merit the good Lords
mercy. Be at peace. Trust my word as a priest. Come, make just one act of trust
and commit yourself to Him. Saying this, I sprinkled the bed and the room
with holy water and started to sit down by the poor sick woman.
Oh, what have you done? Did you think they were devils? They are not devils;
they are not at all afraid of your water. They are standing over there, steady,
mocking and as stern as ever.
The hallucinations she used to have, her sonin-law whispered to
me; but the sick woman heard him.
You are the one who has hallucinations! This is no hallucination; they
never were hallucinationsbut you could never understand. Oh, my!
At this she collapsed. Her pulse seemed to stop and she remained for some time
motionless, her eyes staring at the opposite wall. She seemed without senses
or mind except for her eyes, which were bright and wide open as she gazed in
that direction. I took my Ritual and began to pray. Then something no one could
have foreseen happened. With a sudden movement she snatched the small book from
my hands and threw it on the floor.
Whats the use? All this wont help. Dont you see that
there is nothing more that you can do? Dont you see that Ive already
been damned? She turned to the other side. But immediately afterwards
she turned back towards me as if compelled by some vision which had filled her
with horror. At length she stared at me without recognition. Then it seemed
as if her lips assumed an expression of contempt, or perhaps of scorn. She instinctively
grabbed my arm like a drowning person trying to clutch something to keep afloat.
She remained like that, staring absently. I didnt know what to think.
The son-in-law and Sister were on the other side of the bed; he was holding
the wrist of the sick womans free hand while the Sister, rosary in hand,
was praying. I was watching her carefully, my eyes were on hers as life seemed
to reappear in them. I leaned forward and said: My Jesus, mercy!
She seemed to understand. Her eyes first wandered uncertainly towards the ceiling
as if followingwho knows?some thread of her memory. Then somewhat
mechanically, with neither understanding nor feeling, she repeated: My
Jesus, mercy! My Mother, my trust. Encouraged, I pronounced
once more the most holy invocation to Jesus, and she echoed it after me automatically
as before. Perhaps she is in a coma, whispered her sonin-law to
The Sister handed me the crucifix of her rosary, which I put to the womans
lips. At its touch she was slightly startled. A movement of her head gave me
the impression that she was refusing it, and I trembled with fear. It
is Jesus, who wants to save you. Kiss it! I said, and I kissed it myself
to show her how to do it. As I did so the dying woman opened her eyes wide.
She extended her lips towards the holy symbol of our Saviour as if to kiss it
with evident fervor. But suddenly she compressed her lips again and I couldnt
understand whether the gesture was that of a kiss or an expression of contempt.
She remained motionless. Then with a scarcely perceptible voice she seemed to
murmur: Pray . . . have faith . . . leave it . . . Again her lips
contracted. Once more I brought the crucifix to her lips. The reaction was a
sob. A few moments later when I saw her son-inlaw drop her lifeless wrist, fall
to his knees and weep, burying his face in the side of the bed, I realized that
she was dead. What took place when his wife came in is easy to imagine. I saw
how much they had loved her. But I was thinking of something else. My
God, what did that last gesture mean? Was it a kiss or a refusal? That
question kept coming to my mind all the way home like the rhythm of a pendulum.
I had to walk, for at that late hour there was no public transportation.
The next morning at the Memento of the dead in Holy Mass, I felt
as if a sudden voice had spoken to menot in my ear but in the very depths
of my soul, which was still severely shakenModicae fidei, quare
dubitasti? (O you of little faith, why did you doubt?). This seemed to
me a sign of such certainty that it would have been rash to ignore it.
A few days later I held the mysterious envelope in my hands: Should I
open it, or not? I thought it over. It is a will, I said to
myself, that I must make public only after ten years. Why open it now?
I was about to hide it in the bottom of a drawer when the question came: What
if I should die before that? And so I took a larger envelope in which
to enclose the sealed one and wrote across it: This is the will of a person
at whose death I assisted. This person wants it to be made known exactly ten
years after her death. It is to be opened and publicized in December, 1955.
Please carry this out with scrupulous exactitude and conceal the name of the
Taken from Mama!
Why did you kill us? by TAN
Books & Publishers, Inc.
Other pages discussing Catholic
doctrine and history:
- Our Lord Jesus Christ
- The Sacred Heart
of Jesus - Learn all about this beautiful devotion to Our Lord.
- The Shroud of Our Lord -
Discusses the convroversy over the Shroud of Turin - is it real or a forgery? Evidence points to its authenticity.
- Infinite Mercy of Jesus - Learn how
the Heart of Jesus has a strong desire to love and pardon sinners who sincerely return to Him.
- The Blessed Virgin Mary
- The Blessed Virgin Mary
- Immaculate, pure, and our most powerful intercessor after Our Lord
- The Holy Slavery
- To Jesus, through Mary -- the same way Jesus came to us (through His Mother)
- Edifying and Beautiful -
Learn about God's Providence in regard to the Blessed Virgin Mary, her graces and merits, the details of her life!
- Our Lady of Fatima - Her predictions and warning for the future.
- Saints who Saw Mary
- Tells the story of 17 great Saints who saw and heard the Blessed Mother, whom they were so devoted to!
- History and Culture
- Wearing Pants Incites Men to Lust
- Learn how women's fashions have corrupted, how evil forces are behind most modern fashions, and much more! Includes practical advice.
- How to Run a Catholic Family
- Discusses how to bring the Catholic Faith into family life! How the family can best celebrate feast days, and make use of good Catholic customs.
- A TRUE History Book -
This premise of this history book: The coming of Jesus Christ was the most important event in history.
- Catholic History Workbook -
Fascinating; hard to put down! It makes more sense of History than secular books which explain things in a disjointed manner.
- Homeschooling Workbook -
With questions for every chapter of Christ in the Americas - multiple choice, fill in the blank, true/false, and more!
- Crisis in the Church
- Read about St. Athanasius - faithful and courageous, known as the "champion of orthodoxy". One of the 33 Doctors of the Church!
- St. Athanasius - The great defender of the Catholic Faith against Arianism
- Crisis in the Church - How the enemies of God plot to overthrow the Church from within.
- Revolution in the Church - How Vatican II and its aftermath caused a crisis in the Catholic Church.
- Freemasonry - Pope Leo XIII unmasks this evil society, and forbids all Catholics to join.
- Combination of ALL Heresies - Pope St. Pius X unmasks the Modernists, giving us their doctrine and methods!
- Vatican II - Impartially discusses what happened at Vatican II -- mostly quotes from the men that were there!
- Fascinating if true - A man's deathbed confession.
- St. Therese, the Little Flower
- St. Therese the Little Flower - Under obedience, she tells the story of her childhood, religious life, etc.
- Mother of St. Therese - Learn about the woman who raised 5 saintly daughters, all of which entered the religious life!
- Father of St. Therese - Learn about the man who let the holy family of Lisieux so well, that his 5 daughters entered a convent!
- From the Sister of St. Therese - In her biography, she writes many things not found in
Story of a Soul.
- Lives of the Saints
- Learned Mystic and Theologian -
St. John of the Cross suffered greatly, even prison, for the Carmelite Reform. Father of the Discalced Carmelites.
- Beautiful story of a young girl -
Anne de Guigne was clever and passionate, yet practiced humility and all the other virtues -- and she died at the age of 10.
- Refuge for Billions of Catholics -
Catholics have always prayed to these saints in their necessities. St. Blaise, St. Christopher, etc. Includes countless novenas!
- St. Anne - Grandmother of Our Lord -
According to Ven. Mary of Agreda, she possessed all the virtues, especially purity. Learn more about her!
- Young Italian Maiden -
Who suffered the Stigmata every Friday, and was pious from her youth. St. Gemma Galgani, called the "Gem of Christ"
- Heroic Chastity -
Read how St. Maria Goretti had to give up her life to preserve her purity! She is called the patroness of youth.
- All Glory to Almighty God -
Well documented cases of the miraculous taken from the lives of the Saints. Fascinating!
- Defeated Persian Sorcerers -
The glorious life of St. Jude Thaddeus, Apostle and cousin of Our Lord, as taken from ancient Catholic traditions.
- Angels and Devils -
Learn all that Scripture and Tradition teaches us about the pure spirits God created. Fascinating and enlightening!
- Life of Mary Magdalen - Learn fascinating details of her life that you didn't know before! From the visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich.
- The Angel of the Judgment
- At a critical point in Church history, his preaching and miracles served as a warning of impending chastisement.
- Miracles All His Life -
The miraculous was very common in the life of St Gerard Majella, great saint and Patron of Expectant Mothers.
- Eyewitness to Gospel events -
Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich saw so many biblical events in her visions. Be inspired and edified by her virtuous life!
- United with Jesus Christ -
She suffered for souls and for the Church, and received countless visions all her life. One man wrote down her visions for YOUR sake!
- Never a Moment Wasted
- this zealous missionary and client of Our Lady is a model for all Catholics. Read about his saintly life.
- She saw her Guardian Angel
- this innocent girl tells us the story of her saintly life -- beautiful, inspiring!
- Servants of Satan
Establish Paganism - Astrology, witchcraft, and countless systems of idolatry
set up after the Confusion of Tongues.
- Fervent Catholic Indians - Father De Smet was like an Apostle, suffering greatly to bring the True Religion to the Native American peoples.
- Classic Sermons for Lent - On the Last Things, aimed at moving you to serve God even more
faithfully. By St. Francis de Sales.
- Those Who Met St. Padre
Pio - Stories of conversions, miracles, etc. from those who met this living Crucifix. Recently canonized.
- Beat Up by the Devil
- This great Saint had prophetic visions in the form of dreams, and often physically struggled with the devil.
- Life of St Gertrude
- Our Lord appeared to her many times, and she was much loved by Him because of her purity.
- Jesus Dearly Loved Her
- Because of her love and confidence in him, her heart was His favorite place to dwell, after the Blessed Sacrament.
- The Dolorous Passion - Giving never before seen details of Our Lord's Passion! From
the visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich.
- Braving the English
Torture - St. Margaret Clitherow was a wife and mother - and she kept the Faith even to martyrdom!
- Details of The Good Thief - Learn about his life with a gang of brigands, how he helped the
Holy Family, and much more.
- Classic Catholic Sermons - You won't fall asleep here! Sermons by a Doctor of the Church, filled with energy and the spirit of Faith.
- Miracles Taking Place Today - St. Philomena is famous for the number of miracles surrounding her shrine - here are some of them.
- Isabella of Spain - A holy Catholic queen, and a valiant defender of Christ's kingdom.
- St Anthony - the Wonder Worker - His life was filled with proofs that God was with him.
- St Vincent de Paul - famous for his charities, this great Saint was canonized only 77 years after his death!
- The Cure of Ars - Three of him could destroy the devil's kingdom! Read about his physical struggles with Satan.
- St. Rita - Nothing is impossible with God! Her life is an example for us all, especially to mothers.
- Sermons of St. Francis de Sales - Here he speaks all about the kinds of prayer.
Learn what (and what not) to do!
- St. Teresa of Avila - She founded many convents, which were to adhere to the strict observance of the Carmelite Rule.
- St. Elizabeth of Hungary - Known for her generosity to the poor
- Alexandrina - A victim soul who suffered the Passion on Fridays
- The Spiritual Life
- Jesus, Prisoner of Love
- Meditations on the most beautiful doctrine of the Catholic Faith - the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist
- Spiritual Exercises
- Written by a great saint, these meditations have converted millions of souls.
- Manual of the Spiritual Life - Your duties as a penitent toward your confessor/spiritual director.
- Lessons from Calvary - 31 meditations on Our Lord's Passion that will help you to easily avoid sin.
- Finding Peace of Heart
- Only by knowing how to follow God's will, can a person be truly happy.
- Strategy for Getting to Heaven - We must learn how the devil works on us, how to avoid his snares, to win the "War for our Souls".
- How to Fight the Deadly Sins - Timeless advice on how to combat each of the Capital sins.
- A Manual for Confession -
How to benefit from the Sacrament of Penance: common pitfalls, scruples, how to make a good exam of conscience, and much more.
- Seven Deadly Sins -
Learn about the different forms of pride, avarice, lust, anger, envy, gluttony and sloth.
- How to Pray Well -
How we should pray to God - with confidence, perseverance, simplicity. Advice from St. Alphonsus Liguori!
- Marriage & Family
- How to Raise Good Catholic Children - With examples from the saints and wise and thoughtful commentary - a must-read for every parent!
- Haunted by Children She Aborted - Testimony from her own mouth: how she had 7 abortions, and how her life changed afterward.
- Catholic Doctrine on Marriage - Common sources of marital strife and how to avoid them, the differences between the sexes, periodic abstinence, and more.
- Your Labor of Love - The author talks about isolation, sufferings, the modern culture, and more.
- Spiritual Growth during Pregnancy - How expecting a child can bring a woman closer to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary. Includes much practical advice.
- St. Joseph
- St. Joseph - After Our Lady, the holiest mere man who ever lived
- Privileges of St. Joseph - Why St. Joseph receives so much honor in the Church
- Novenas to St. Joseph -
Universal Patron - Pray to St. Joseph for all of your needs - Jesus, now in Heaven, still listens to him as a father!
- The Last Things/Afterlife
- Death, Judgment, Hell, Heaven - The Saints always thought about their last end, and so should we. Brings the reality of eternity before your eyes!
- Life Everlasting - Discusses death, judgment, heaven and hell; also the vices and virtues
- Beyond the Grave -
What we know about Purgatory from sacred history and the lives of the saints.
- Peaceful Rest or Almost Like Hell? - Discusses the two opposing Catholic viewpoints on the subject of Purgatory.
- Purgatory - Learn what the Catholic Church has always taught on this subject.
- What Will Hell be Like? - Discusses the sufferings of Hell in detail.
- Eternity of Hell - Including a story from a soul who was sent there!
- Catholic Doctrine and Dogma
- What is Sanctifying Grace? -
Learn all about the nature of Grace, what it does for us, how to increase it in our souls, and its importance.
- Catholic Dogma of Grace - God's grace vs. man's ability to merit for his actions.
- Sin and Forgiveness - True Catholic doctrine with quotes from Scripture and the Fathers.
- The Intellect of the Angels - What Catholic theology says about the angels.
- Simple Easy-to-Understand Catechism - For Catholics to better learn their faith, or to give to possible converts.
- Sodomy Condemned -
The Catholic Church has always condemned this unnatural vice - see proofs from the Magisterium, Church laws, Scripture, canons, and more!
- The Mass Keeps the World in Existence - and other lofty considerations; helps Catholics
appreciate the real value of the Mass.
- The Catholic Mass - Why it is so priceless; relates actual events which prove it!
- The Catholic Faith - Easy to read and follow, using the most solid Catholic doctrine. Very thorough.
- What Does The Bible Say About Marriage? - Find all Bible quotes about "Anger", for example, gathered into one page.
- Defending the Faith/Apologetics
- The REAL Luther - From the pens of Protestant historians, and Luther's own (foul) mouth -
learn about the real man.
- The Faith of our Fathers - A topic-by-topic explanation of what the Catholic Faith teaches. Great for apologetics!
- The Bible Explained - Why were all those various stories placed in the Bible for us to read? Here is why!
- How Christ Changed Society - Compare the ancient world with the world influenced by Christ.
- Scripture Alone for Salvation? - Even the Bible itself denies this! Read 21 compelling
reasons why Tradition is also necessary.
- The Bible is a Catholic book - Convincing arguments show clearly that criticism of the Catholic Church has no truthful basis! Excellent apologetics based on history.
- Defend Catholic Dogmas - Find rational arguments for what Catholics believe.
- Theory of Evolution
- Evolution Hoax Debunked -
A learned scientist discovers that there is no evidence FOR Evolution, but plenty AGAINST it!
- Proofs against Evolution -
Plenty of evidence against Evolution is out there, but it is often ignored by the media. Fascinating!
- Evolution is a
Fraud - So say countless biologists and scientists! Read more...
- King of Jerusalem
- Balwin IV of Jerusalem leads the Crusaders in this exciting novel.
- Exciting Adventures
- Tom Playfair and his friends at a Jesuit boarding school. Exciting, Catholic, fun!
- More Catholic Adventures
- written by Fr. Finn - Percy Wynn meets Tom Playfair and friends, and enters the boarding school (St. Maure's).
- Perpetual Motion Boy
- The Fr. Finn boarding school universe expands with Claude Lightfoot and other interesting characters.
- That Football Game
- written by Fr. Finn - Which is more important? English class, a math competition, or an upcoming football game?
Return to Catholic Doctrine